Music crimes

Garry Knight of Penny Lane Records rolls his eyes at a dumbass...

Classic record shop robbery news headline gold SHOCKER x 2 !!!

Is this New Zealand’s dumbest criminal? and Dumb robber leaves name, number.

Penny Lane Records getting robbed is crappy. Dave, Garry and the crew are nice peeps. Here’s the blow-by-blow account…

The long-time customer of Penny Lane Records on Colombo St in Sydenham began his bad caper on Friday afternoon. He approached the counter with a copy of Pink Floyd’s classic rock CD The Wall and asked for it to be held for him. He wrote his name and contact details on a sticker, which was placed on the CD.

A minute later, when the store attendant went to help another customer, the man leaned over the counter and opened the till. He grabbed a handful of $10 and $20 notes, pushed past a woman who spotted him, and fled the store.

But maybe this is not as cut and dried as first thought. There are several quite valid possibilities:

  1. The alleged offender was cunning and never ever used his real name in the first place and thus will not be caught.
  2. The alleged offender was jizzing himself upon discovering “The Wall” and couldn’t think straight because of sheer pseudo post-coital excitement and thought the cash in the till was actually fresh tissues.
  3. The alleged offender personally knows Roger Waters and used his Pink Floyd “chops” as a blatant diversionary tactic.
  4. The alleged offender just had really poor taste and peer pressure made him want to buy Pink Floyd “The Wall” otherwise his mates wouldn’t let him join their boy racer gang.

What ever the true reason for the crime, there is NO EXCUSE for Pink Floyd “The Wall”. Either buying it or stealing it or selling it or having it in your possession. In fact Penny Lane should consider themselves lucky not to have been visited by the police for leading this young man astray. Some would consider it entrapment.

We’ll just keep an open mind.

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