Music crimes

Garry Knight of Penny Lane Records rolls his eyes at a dumbass...

Classic record shop robbery news headline gold SHOCKER x 2 !!!

Is this New Zealand’s dumbest criminal? and Dumb robber leaves name, number.

Penny Lane Records getting robbed is crappy. Dave, Garry and the crew are nice peeps. Here’s the blow-by-blow account…

The long-time customer of Penny Lane Records on Colombo St in Sydenham began his bad caper on Friday afternoon. He approached the counter with a copy of Pink Floyd’s classic rock CD The Wall and asked for it to be held for him. He wrote his name and contact details on a sticker, which was placed on the CD.

A minute later, when the store attendant went to help another customer, the man leaned over the counter and opened the till. He grabbed a handful of $10 and $20 notes, pushed past a woman who spotted him, and fled the store.

But maybe this is not as cut and dried as first thought. There are several quite valid possibilities:

  1. The alleged offender was cunning and never ever used his real name in the first place and thus will not be caught.
  2. The alleged offender was jizzing himself upon discovering “The Wall” and couldn’t think straight because of sheer pseudo post-coital excitement and thought the cash in the till was actually fresh tissues.
  3. The alleged offender personally knows Roger Waters and used his Pink Floyd “chops” as a blatant diversionary tactic.
  4. The alleged offender just had really poor taste and peer pressure made him want to buy Pink Floyd “The Wall” otherwise his mates wouldn’t let him join their boy racer gang.

What ever the true reason for the crime, there is NO EXCUSE for Pink Floyd “The Wall”. Either buying it or stealing it or selling it or having it in your possession. In fact Penny Lane should consider themselves lucky not to have been visited by the police for leading this young man astray. Some would consider it entrapment.

We’ll just keep an open mind.

The show: No show today sorry…

Apologies. No show today. Fraserhead is away in Wellington and The Herb Whisperer is stranded in London after blowing all his cash (meant for his return airfare) on records at Spitalfields Market.

Never fear – we will be back in action next Saturday with a few special on-air guests to spice things up.

As a way of making it up to, get your fill of new music at The Guardian Music Weekly Podcast.

Or for even fresher tunes, subscribe and listen to Bill’s always entertaining Human Pleasure @ Hourly Rates podcast.

The show: Getting funky and retro

Gah! And that was a real self-loathing Stewie Griffin style “gah”. I can’t believe that I just used the term “funky”. Makes me sound like a  middle-aged middle-manager at a shitty office party that no one wanted to attend. The Herb Whisperer would have kicked my arse if he had been here. So let’s just pretend that I used the term “the funk” instead, okay?

So why the funk and retro? Well, there wasn’t a huge amount of it to be honest but during times of recession and long winters it’s good to dig through the record collection for a bit of inspiration hence the stone cold classics from Funky Four Plus One‘s (the epic “That’s The Joint” (the which inspired the name of this show) and The JBs (for a high speed funk workout).

But the point I’m getting to is that if you’re feeling a bit down and don’t mind falling into the fatal trap of shopping to make yourself feel better then you can’t go wrong by buying cheap second hand records. Especially from places like Galaxy Records where I scored mint copies of Blondie‘s “Autoamerican” (1980), Malcolm McLaren‘s “Duck Rock” (1983), and Stu and The Lads “Nice One Stu” (1976). Cheers Dave !!!

And here’s today’s playlist in full…

12pm – 1pm

Download 12pm – 1pm here

1pm – 2pm

Download 1pm – 2pm here

PS: Limited service today. 12-2pm only today sorry.

The Herb Whisperer goes to Field Day Festival

The Herb Whisperer is currently over in London in a professional capacity but he has been tearing himself away from the computer (when workload allows) to spend all his cash in record shops, Spitalfields Market, and gigs.

One such gig was Field Day held in Victoria Park, in the East End of London on Saturday 2 August.

The day started ominously with The Herb Whisperer boarding the tube and being the only passenger wearing a Manchester United t-shirt in a carriage full of Gooners (the weekend was full of football friendlies and HW didn’t get stabbed) and ended symbolically in torrential rain. However, there was some music in between.

Here is the Herb Whisperer’s Tell It Like It Is™ exclusive report…

The xx
The xx were really good. All lined up next to each other in a row – two guitars, one bass and an MPC. No “Teardrops” though, but everyone was limited to 30 or 45 min on stage. They do look moody, but I reckon it’s just nerves. After all they are freakishly young. The JAMC used to say the reason they looked so arrogant and faced the back of the stage was because they were shitting themselves. The girl lead singer reminds me of Tracy Thorn.

Field Day 2009: The Horrors on stage. The huge guy in the Team Michigan jacket is Oliver Sim from The xx.
Field Day 2009: The Horrors on stage. The huge guy in the Team Michigan jacket is Oliver Sim from The xx.

The Horrors
Stood next to The xx boy lead singer (Oliver Sim) during The Horrors set. He’s a big fucker. I swear I wasn’t stalking, he just happened to lumber in next to me when the set started.

I’ll be charitable to The Horrors and say that a combination of the first rain of the day, daylight and an open air stage did them no favours. Better experienced in a dingy club I reckon, although the main fault may be that Sea Within A Sea is head and shoulders above everything else in their arsenal, making most of the gig a bit pedestrian. Ooh. Err. Came over all all Guardian Music Weekly there.

Field Day 2009: This is the end. torrential rain.
Field Day 2009: This is the end. torrential rain.

The rest
Santigold was delayed by 40 mins when the torrential downpour happened and then I was caught between her, Malcolm Middleton, The Big Pink, Erol Alkan and Rusko all on different stages. So I took the tossers way out – ran round them all for 10 mins each so I could say “I’d seen them” rather than actually listening.

After that I fucked off home so I wouldn’t give Mogwai a chance to bore the shite out of me.

The verdict
Little Boots won on the day, with Micachu and The Shapes relegated to the Championship.

The show: Jizzing out with The xx !!!

The Joint “heart” The XX.

Whilst Fraserhead was thrashing their new album “XX” on the show, The Herb Whisperer was getting ready to stalk one of the lead singers later that day at The Field Day Festival in London.

And here’s today’s playlist in full…

12pm – 1pm

Download 12pm – 1pm here

1pm – 2pm

Sorry – no podcast available.

PS: Limited service today. 12-2pm only today sorry.